Why the Cullens Don't Play Sports
by LoveStoryMermaid
Summary: Baseball, Cross Country, Equestrian, Football, Swimming, Volleyball, Wrestling. What did the Cullens do to make Carlisle ban them from school sports?
1. Edward, Alice, and Rosalie

**Why the Cullens Don't Play Sports**

"What's so funny, Alice?" Jasper asked, interested, but slightly apprehensive.

Everyone was home except for Esme, who had run out on a home decorating run and would, unfortunately, be back shortly. Not that Jasper didn't like Esme, of course not, but, her remodels never went smoothly; either everyone started arguing about the new placement, normally started by Alice, or the house turned into basically a war zone, with the new arrangements being sabotaged at every step, normally started by Emmett. He hoped that wasn't what was amusing his wife. Carlisle would be back later that evening, working at the hospital. Then, Edward and Bella should be home any second. They were always the last home next to Carlisle and Esme.

Alice stopped giggling, but continued to keep a very amused smile on her face, shook her head and answered, "Sorry, Jazz. You'll see shortly, though."

"Something Bella does?" asked Emmett eagerly.

Rosalie smirked, while Jasper just looked at him, and Alice kept smiling. Emmett took that as confirmation and responded, "Awesome!"

Alice chuckled and answered simply, "We'll see, Emmett."

The way she said it gave Emmett a second's pause, but before he could think it through, everyone heard Bella's ancient excuse for a truck pull up. Of course it was Emmett who announced, quite unnecessarily, "Bella's here!"

Outside, Bella was pouting as usual about not driving her own truck, "Why do you always insist on driving?"

Edward smiled as he opened the passenger door, "First, I'm a better driver, so it's safer. And, second, though I don't necessarily mind, you should know by now that a household of adolescent vampires aren't very patient."

Bella chuckled as they walked inside together and was greeted by a waving Emmett, "Hey, Bella."

"Hi, Emmett," she responded simply, by now used to his enthusiastic greetings and no longer worrying herself over why that may be.

As Bella headed into the kitchen to get a drink, she looked up for a second, and turning around mentioned, "You know, Edward, I was wondering today, everyone knows that me playing any sport would be more entertaining than the actual sport," she shot a look at Emmett, whose laughter rose above everyone else's chuckle, then continued, "but, how come you never do any sports? Any of you, actually. You guys could actually give our school something to cheer about in the sports department."

Alice was the only one who had the good humor to chuckle, though Edward was fighting it, and Rosalie gave a brief smirk and then a pointed look at Emmett. Of course, Alice saw it.

"Emmett's not the only reason, Rosalie," she said pointedly, but continued, "And as packed as your stories are, Bella asked Edward first."

Bella got interested, "Edward? What happened?"

"Oh, of course, Edward's perfect, nothing ever happened to golden boy Edward," Rosalie remarked, sarcastic.

Before Emmett could confirm and make it sound worse than it was, Edward conceded, "I tried out the swim team last time we were here. Well, you know we try not to draw attention to ourselves."

Alice chuckled, "The majority of the pool couldn't take their eyes off him."

Bella blushed hard as Edward shot a glare at Alice, "The main problem was that as much as we try to hold back, especially in physical activities, it's easy to forget the restraints humans have. I was pushing it on how often I would breathe, but it helped the times and was still within regulation.

"Barely," snorted Rosalie.

Edward ignored her, "so that had already dragged attention to me, and then, well, everyone in this family is competitive," he was defensive, looking at each of his siblings.

Before he had time to continue, though, Alice jumped in, "Edward, you nearly drowned the guy next to you."

"What?" Bella asked, her voice high in surprise, but also seeming to hold back a laugh.

Edward glared at his sister, who just shrugged, "It's true."

"She exaggerating," he remarked, still glaring, "I just got a little too into the race, forgot how easily water reacts to motion, and just turned quick enough that, against the pool wall, it created an unusually large wave that rolled back and the guy next to me was going just the right speed to be the perfect distance away to get caught in it. He was on the swim team, though. You would see him after practice goofing off with his friends on who could hold their breath the longest. He was fine, I just got a little carried away."

"You were also half a pool's length ahead of him, Edward, "Alice reminded.

Bella frowned, "But, that can still happen. A freak thing, and everyone, even humans, get too competitive at times. It doesn't seem like that one incident would be cause for all of you to not play anymore."

Looking at Alice, now Edward smiled, "Oh, you're probably right. Alice helped, too."

"What are you talking about," asked Alice, a little too quick, "I won a cross-country race, big deal."

Emmett laughed again, as Jasper joined in and Edward explained, "Except that you somehow broke the school record with enough time to, at some point in the race, change your outfit and have a few other bags waiting with Jasper."

Bella laughed, it was so like Alice. But, what, exactly, had she done?

"Edward, do you remember those race outfits? They were hideous! Besides, the best stores in town were right across the path from the track and they were selling 50% off. One store even threw in a free purse with orders over $100, too easy and sooooo much fun!"

"Alice, it's not possible for a human to break a record and have time to change clothes, especially picking out the best outfits for the perfect amount of money," Edward answered slowly.

"But, they were really cool clothes, especially at that price, and that's why I had Jazz come pick up some of them," Alice pleaded and Bella couldn't help but laugh.

Jasper had a thin smile, "Which I probably should have known, better. But, at the same time, I knew better than to get in the way of Alice and clothes. Besides, Alice wasn't really so bad in comparison. She just changed outfits. Rosalie actually gave a girl a concussion."

Now, Alice was chuckling, and Bella just stared, somehow not surprised. Rosalie was glaring at Jasper in disbelief, "It was the perfect spike. The stupid girl just wasn't paying attention. That wasn't my fault."

"You played volleyball?" Bella asked, surprised.

"Only because Emmett loved to see her in spandex in public," remarked Jasper with a chuckle, joined by Edward, Alice, and Bella wasn't quite sure if she thought it was funny or not.

"Hey, why not?" Emmett responded unfazed.

"Anyway," Rosalie continued, "Really, I spiked the ball, maybe a little too hard, but it's like Edward said, our family tends to get competitive. It was right to her, she just didn't move," then she finished quickly, "I guess it hit her hard and square enough on the head she got a concussion, but that was her fault, not mine."

"Sure, Rose," sarcastically agreed Jasper, "I think the ball was going fast enough to have the same effect as being hit square on the head with a bowling bowl."

"And I'm so sure you actually took the time to calculate the speed of the ball at that instant. If anyone did, it would have been Edward or Carlisle and as neither of them has spoken up in the past seventy years, I don't think it was so drastic," she rebuked, "besides, at least I didn't cause a televised riot over some stupid Confederate remark!"


	2. Jasper and Emmett

_If anyone did, it would have been Edward or Carlisle and as neither of them has spoken up in the past seventy years, I don't think it was so drastic," she rebuked, "besides, at least I didn't cause a televised riot over some stupid Confederate remark!"_

* * *

Alice shook her head while Emmett laughed again and Bella just stared. Jasper put up his hands, "The only reason it was televised was because it was the finals against one of the worst teams versus one of the best. We all have things we are overly passionate about."

"Jazzy, it was still just some stupid class assignment they were talking about. I _warned_ you about it before you even started the game and you still went ballistic," Alice reproved.

"And so I didn't think it would be a problem. The timing of it just caught me off guard and I overreacted. We all know how that is," and Jasper wasn't the only one to shoot a look at Edward, but he continued, "anyway, it was just after the seventh inning stretch and I was going up to bat. At first I was just surprised and lost my concentration, so I ended up hitting the ball too far, so that they never found where it ended up. It wasn't even anything major. One of the kids on the bench just mentioned how it was too bad the South didn't have baseball during the civil war. Not only was the remark blatantly incorrect, but extremely unexpected. However, unfortunately his friend was just as clueless and then, I won't deny I should have known better, but I lost it. Over nothing really, they were just goofing off, talking about, like Alice said, some assignment on how the Civil War might have been prevented. How baseball came into that, I can only guess. But, anyway, his friend just made the remark something along the lines, 'Yeah, a good ball game and beating from the Yanks would have had the Rebs running in shame,'" he shrugged.

"Jasper, you jumped the kid and started shouting loud enough for everyone to hear how they were, basically quote, 'insolent, retarded children who knew nothing about the South, much less the Civil War and how they should show history some respect,'" Emmett chortled, and turned to Bella, "Bella, next to ours, you should have seen Carlisle's face. Esme was just hiding in shame, but I seriously thought Carlisle was going to lose it right there. As for the rest of us, well, Edward actually somehow just had a reaction similar to Esme's, Rose whispered under her breath, 'that _idiot!_', but Alice was fighting between a reaction similar to Esme and Rose and laughing her head off, like I was. Carlisle yelled at me for that, too; but, it's not like he hasn't yelled at me before."

"This was the final straw, though," Alice intermitted, "as you said, myself and Edward alone weren't too bad, even Rosalie. Actually, mine was at a different school. This was the final straw after Edward and Rosalie. Jasper not only got kicked off the team, but Carlisle essentially kicked us out of Forks."

Bella just shook her head.

Jasper was quick to save some face, though, "At least it's arguable that it took me combined with the two of you to get us kicked out. Emmett, could possibly claim that once, in combination with Rosalie, but the other time he single-handedly got us out of town."

Bella stared at Emmett, seemingly both apprehensive and excited to see what he had done.

Jasper continued, "Let's see, I think at the same time as Rosalie, it was football and wrestling. Honestly, I still don't quite understand why Carlisle gave you a second chance, third if you count the single-handed time."

Bella's eyes went wide, "Who in their right mind," and then she seemed to realize what she was saying, "Not that Carlisle and Esme weren't, but who in their right mind would want to go against you in either of those sports?"

Emmett grinned, "Well, actually, I think that was sort of the idea. The coach initially saw me and you should have seen how eager he was to have me on the time, probably for precisely that reason. Actually, despite it all, that may be why I got to try wrestling, too. Anyway, I don't see what the problem was. I was just doing what coach told me to: get the ball to the other end without the other team getting it. My team knew what to do, the other team just got in the way and humans can be wimps sometimes. Frankly, the first kid fell on his own accord when I intercepted the ball and then the would-be recipient probably broke the other kid's fall. By then, only one other kid tried to get in my way, and I took care of him. Then, the touchdown was mine. I did what he said. I got the ball to the other end of the field, alright!"

Bella had her hand over her mouth, as Rosalie interceded, "I'm pretty sure he didn't want you to break any bones on your way there. And the one kid you might as well have run straight through and not only knocked out, but had minor internal bleeding! Poor Jasper had to get out of there before the medics were even on the field!"

"In my defense, the coach did say something along the lines that I was just getting the ball to the other end of the field."

"Except in his comment it was a joke to try to do some damage repair, no pun intended," rebuked Alice.

"Though, like I said, he did recommend me to the wrestling team. Sure, I was suspended from playing the rest of the season, but I actually didn't get kicked off the team, and I was still allowed to practice with them. I just couldn't play in any more games. The coach just thought instead of running to fetch a ball, I needed a sport that was a little more physical to exercise my strength, so he mentioned me to the wrestling coach. Carlisle, and the coach, was a little apprehensive at first, but eventually the coach conceded and so did pops. Wrestling, I argue the same as football. I was just doing what he told me to: the goal was to pin the other guy down. Oh, so, actually, I didn't get past tryouts, but still. Yeah, after the football incident, that was the only way the coach would agree, if I tried out first. One of the guys volunteered. I did what I was told. I pinned him down."

"After knocking him out from breaking his jaw and three ribs!" Edward scolded.

Emmett just shrugged, raising his hands, "I pinned him, didn't I? Besides it's about time someone toughened them up a bit."

"Emmett, sweetheart," Rose concluded, "there are limits in human sports."

"Well, they didn't mention that."

Alice laughed at that, as did Bella, and even jasper chuckled.

"I think the final straw after all this," Alice concluded, "was once again, Emmett. Emmett even now is no longer allowed on a horse unless we're deep in the woods. One school we went to had an equestrian team, and somehow Carlisle thought a teenage vegetarian vampire would be alright. Mind you, this was _after_ football and wrestling. I don't know what he was thinking, but he allowed it…and the horse ended up as lunch."

"Yeah," Rose agreed, "and got us out to move well out of town, not to mention state, by that time the next day."

"Emmett!," Bella squeaked and the same time Edward muttered, "Alice," sparing a quick glance at Bella.

Alice was chagrined, but shrugged, "It's what happened."

"What happened?" came an apprehensive voice from the doorway. Esme was home.

"Oh, we were just telling Bella why we're no longer allowed to play sports," Alice answered

Esme's eyes just went wide and she raised her hands, shaking her head, "Don't even get me started," and walked out of the room quickly.

At that, everyone, even Edward couldn't help but laugh, "Well, love. You asked. Now you know."

"Somehow," she answered, and to another chorus of chuckles, "I can't say I'm so surprised. A little, but somehow it just fits."


End file.
